sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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