saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
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