I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
