is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Randomize