i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
