I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
So many bounce houses so little time
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
