she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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