Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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