Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
