i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
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