Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
