onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
