foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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