It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
vagina is talking i cant
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
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