She announced her abortion via fbk
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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