drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
