would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
