hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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