shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
