ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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