i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
