That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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