Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize