went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize