Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
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