I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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