Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize
