She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
It's just like the Real World with babies
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize