I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
