he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
