Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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