is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Can you repeat that, but with context?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
