I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
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