i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
My ass is underappreciated
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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