he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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