we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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