you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
