I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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