Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
