I hate all girls vehemently.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
They took my balls.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
