I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize
