Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
