Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize