new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
