If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
