What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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