Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
