This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
