I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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