Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
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