weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I'm jealous of your bromance
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
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