and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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