I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
