i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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