i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
