IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
