well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
pop tarts are not kleenex
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize