I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
