He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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