Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize