You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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