Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
