there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
