Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
