Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
