dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
