Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
