Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
