a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I wanna bring you to show and tell
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
