Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
sex in a hospital.. check
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
