I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
